I Love You
by Ishimaru Ayumu
Summary: After a talk with the white haired teen, she decide to leave. Leaving only a note and...  Not going to tell you  read to find out   Please read!  Summary might change
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! MY laptop spoiled, after it repair everything was gone… my games… and yay my exams are over so now I can write more! (I hope?) I make a few changes (the note changed to something else) thanks to my friend who helped me edit this! **

**Read and Review thanks!**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. If I did… I wonder what would I do to the characters...**_

Chapter 1: Leaving…

_I love you, that why I'm letting you go_

_._

_I'm done being sad over you. I have enough stress without you adding to it and I won't let you be the reason for my tears._

_("Do you love him?")_

A blonde haired teen sat on her couch, her knees leaning against her chest, gloved hands hugging her legs. Memories of the talk she had with the white haired teen was burning in her mind.

_Broken._

She was broken and she laughed at her current state. Yet, crystal – like tears were also dripping down her eyes. How ironic life is, to be broken by the very man who _swore_ – _promised_ that he would protect her.

Her laughter came to a stop after a while but the tears continue to flow, its funny how her tears wouldn't dry despite the fact that she's _been_ crying for two months since. She no longer have the strength anymore, to wipe off her tears was becoming a daily routine, now she couldn't even go to guild.

And she truly misses her friends. But somehow it wasn't enough to make her go see them because she knew that he _will_ be there.

The man who caused everything – the pain she's feeling and maybe _she's_ with him too… does he even know that she hasn't been going to guild? Did he realize how much he caused? Probably not. Since all this time he didn't even come and see her.

Seriously, how can he protect everything from her but himself?

_So weak, so powerless._

Yes, she is weak and powerless to protect herself, always needing him and she couldn't stop the feelings she has for him. She did not know when these feelings were formed, it just… there and funny, she didn't notice it until… someone else came.

_("I…I love him")_

Her body trembling without her realizing; how she wished she could just hate him or his childhood _friend_ – the one who 'came back to life'. And the funny thing was, she couldn't, hell, she still loves him. So much that it hurt.

_Yet another ironic fact of life._

How did she fall in love with someone who is an idiot fire breather, she doesn't know. Love… was something she never experienced before and the first time already hurt so much that she wonders if she could fall for someone else.

Maybe someone who isn't an idiot.

Someone who isn't a dragon slayer.

Someone who doesn't have a "lover".

Someone who loves her as much as she loves him.

Someone…who is not _him._

But she knew, deep inside her, there are no other guys she would love. After all, the guys on street always look at her with lust filled gazes. How could she fall for someone who wants her body more than her heart?

Perhaps she is cursed, to never have a partner for the rest of her life. Is she going to be alone forever? There's no answer to that, she could only wait and see.

_("I…need to know, if you love him too…")_

_Don't ask me that…! _She clenched her teeth, _I can't answer that, when… when I know he loves you… _but she did, answer the question, not following her heart and she needed so badly to just scream and shout for that mistake, she was going mad by seconds. The memories of him looking at _her _with eyes so loving and determine. Strangely… he had _never_ looked at her that way.

_Jealousy_

A feeling she didn't know, a feeling that still _wouldn't_ let her hate them, a feeling… that is _killing_ her from inside.

And she could only hate herself.

For being weak, powerless and jealous of _her_ – someone he loves and someone she _couldn't_ hate.

_("I'm going to confess to him soon…" Her blue eyes shine out never ending happiness and a light pink blush was spread on her cheeks.)_

_Why must you look like that way after you said that…? _How can she have the heart to hurt her? In her mind, the two of them were holding hands and laughing happily _together._

"Stop…" She murmured, "Don't show me that…" _Her_ words repeated in her mind, over and over again like a broken radio. "I don't want to hear it…!" Her hands', shaking went and covers her ears and shut her eyes tightly; she is so sure that it was going to bleed with her long nails dipping so deep into the back of her ears. Everything she did is in vain because she could still hear it and still sees it.

_She needed to stop with that thought, she came to a conclusion._

Escape._ She's going to escape – run away like a coward like how she was._

She's gonna leave Fairy Tail, _for good…_

_X.O.X_

He didn't know when it started or how it started. All he knew was that somehow he's getting further and further away from Lucy and hell, she hasn't been coming to guild.

He misses her, her smile that's like a light in his darkness, her vanilla scent, her chocolate brown eyes filled with happiness, her blonde hair that's as bright as the sun, everything even her weirdness. It felt so strange to him, when she isn't nearby, he didn't know if she is in trouble or not and the funny thing is, how he _didn't_ thought of finding her at her apartment.

A sigh escaped his lips, catching the attention of the white haired teen sitting beside him with his blue best friend on her lap. "What's wrong Natsu?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"It's nothing." He replied quickly, obviously too quickly because she raised her eyebrow and obviously silently telling him to spill the bean or else. He let out another sigh, a sigh of defeat, really if looks can kill, he is probably dead. "It just that… Luce hasn't been coming to guild lately." It's true but it wasn't lately, it is… around two weeks after Lisanna 'came back to life' and it had been already two weeks since then. Even when she had come on the two weeks, she looked so tired like a zombie and was… about to… break.

He didn't know what caused it; she never told him even though he is her best friend and every time he tried to ask her, people always come and interrupted them.

An idea 'popped' up his mind, perhaps he would go sees her later; he missed her comfortable bed too. Glancing at Lisanna, he noted that she seems to be on deep thought.

"Lisanna?" He called, worried about his friend.

"Huh… oh Natsu… umm I-" A loud growled cut her off and they looked down to Natsu's stomach.

"Sorry Lisanna! I go get some food first!"

"Wait –" But he was too far away, her eyes cast down and the blue cat glanced at her silently

_X.O.X_

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, her once beautiful golden locks seems to have lost its shine, chocolate brown eyes were red and puffy from all the crying and there were also bags underneath, showing her lack of sleep. She looked so _pathetic_, so _different_.

The only sound was water splashing and she sighed as she turns off the water; really she needed to fix herself before leaving or even going out. She closed the bathroom door and taking off her clothes, she switch on the shower, letting the hot water slides down her body. The heat remained her so much about _his_ heat that always warm her up during cold nights or when he gave her 'friendly hugs'. She closed her eyes and wonders if the water on her face was from the shower or her tears. She wants to believe it's from the shower.

_X.O.X_

Stepping out of the bathroom, she glances around her apartment.

It is pretty much empty with only the furniture inside. Like when she first came into the house. Next to the door was her pink suitcase and there's three large plastic bag which contains all her stuff that would soon be burn, after all, she didn't want to leave anything behind that would remind them of her. Even though the small piece of paper that is lying on the table would probably be a reminder.

Another sigh escaped her lips as she looked at the overall mirror. At least she looked better than before, though there's still parts where she would need to use make up to cover it up. And she noticed something surprising.

She's wearing the _same_ outfit as she wore when she first met Na… _him._

Funny, wouldn't it mean that this outfit is the _beginning_ of their relationship and the _end?_ Her eyes were becoming watery and she quickly blinked not letting them out. She's not going to cry anymore. Crying would show how weak and pathetic she is.

She walked to the door and switched off the lights, grabbing everything. Her hand on the door knob and she turned around one last time.

Right now, she can still stop but… stopping would means endless pain that is would be cause by him and he wouldn't even know it, _even __if_ he knows he probably feels guilty about it and she didn't want that, she cares about him too much to let him blame himself.

Her eyes landed on her bed, how long has it been since he laid there? She lost count. All she knew is that the bed is so cold every time she lied there, being not used to it and she regretted the fact that she would always chase him out. Her eyes shifted to the window covered by a pink curtain (which reminded her of his hair), really no matter how many times she said it, he would still come in from there, but he no longer did. _Never will._

She wonders if not saying goodbye is a good idea. Well, technically she did left a photo of team Natsu standing in front of the guild with one single word on the table.

Another sigh, damn, she sighed too much and it needs to stop now. Her heart was still having doubts about leaving already and she didn't know what to do. Maybe she could just take a quick look and then leave? But what if she got caught? They wouldn't let her leave… well she can lie her way through… but it's not really something she want to do… what should she listen to? Her heart or her mind?

Her eyes glanced at the photo – the only thing that showed they had happy memories, prove that she was once Lucy of Fairy Tail and yet another sigh escaped. Damn it, this got to stop!

Just _one_ glance and she will go.

In a second, she was out of her apartment and walking down the familiar road to guild.

The walk was slow since she had to burn the things and wants to remember ever bit of the town, the bookstore that she loved to go to with Levy, the sunflower (her favorite flower), the river – she can still remember that he and his blue cat had digged out a rainbow sakura tree and floated it down there when she was sick.

_X.O.X_

She stopped in front of the huge wooden doors of the guild, looking at the sign _"Fairy Tail" _and its symbol.

_Maybe I shouldn't leave…_

She shocked the thought away, thoughts of not leaving were too much but… _there's_ _no turning back._

She moved towards the left window, making sure to be as quiet as a mouse and not ne noticed by anyone. Looking through it, she saw two of her friends who is fighting as usual and wonder why Erza isn't stopping them. Her question was answered when she spotted the red haired teen siting at the table nearby, eating strawberry shortcake and her heart shattered when she saw the white haired teen who is his childhood friend and _lover_ next to her with the flying blue cat on her lap, both laughing at their friends antics.

They didn't seem to miss her; maybe they don't even know her absence. Her heart ached so badly at the thought of it.

Quickly she walked away but still making sure that no one would notice her. She stood at a far distance from the guild and glanced at the building. _Would I come back? _She wondered, maybe, she doesn't know if she should when she might _break_ the friendship she have with him… and he might not forgive her. Memories of the time she spent in there flashed in her mind – the happincess that she thought it would last forever, the good times and the bad times.

She smiled softly - something she haven't done for a while now - when she got an idea; she could say the thing she couldn't say to them personally. She bowed slowly, "Thank you for everything… I will never forget you guys…!" Her words came out louder than she expected and a gentle wind blows to the direction of the guild when the last word left her lips. Perhaps it's carrying her words to them.

She looked at the building again and unknowing, a tear left her eye.

She turned and ran as fast as she could to the station, not once looked back because if she did, she wouldn't want to leave anymore.

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review before moving on? Feel free to point out anything I need to improve on! Thanks again!**


	2. About Update!

Author note!

I'm so sorry for not updating for so long and I have a good reason for it!

This year is my most important year thus, I can only focus on studying. However, you don't have to worry about after the exam cause I have already finished the chapter up to 3. Now you might be wondering why I didn't post, it because chapter 2 the cliffhanger is totally terrible, and I highly doubt that you want to wait till the next chapter. I am seriously, you will find out how terrible the cliffhanger is!

I promise I will update the moment I finished all my exams! So please don't abandon this story, I hope you understand…! *puppy eyes*

Replies for reviewers:

Kratos32536: I so happy you love it! I don't think the smiley face is creepy.. just weird. Thanks for reviewing! As for the update its written up there haha

PoeticNonsenseNinjaStyle: aww you didn't cry… I hope the next chapter would make you cry! LOL just kidding! Thanks for reviewing!

Adork4cartooncouples: Of couse I will! So glad you love it, thanks for reviewing!

Footser26: Glad that you think its emotional! Thanks for reviewing!

Bubbles: Hello! As for your question, you will know in the next chapter! Thanks for Reviewing!

AnimePsycho1997: Beautiful? Now that's the first haha! Thanks for reviewing!

Chocopipe: Yup, poor Lucy maybe next chapter would be poor Natsu? Thanks for reviewing!

FallenAngelGirl96: Wait till you see the next chapter! It might be even sadder! Thanks for reviewing!

Lucy Ashley from Fairy Tail: Wow… I didn't realize that… I'm so sorry as for when it is said on the top. Thanks for telling me and reviewing!

I meant no offerance if I ever offerenced you I'm sorry!

Thanks to all the people who have alerted the story or favourite it!


	3. Chapter 2

***drum roll* the long awaits chapter 2 is finally here! Sorry for making you wait for so long, if you haven't re read chapter 1, I changed a few things; do re read it when you are free? :D Thanks to my friend who helped me edit this!**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own fairy tail, if I do; I probably won't be able to make it so nice haha!**_

**Chapter 2: Hurt words**

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><p><span>"<span>_A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go."__Author Unknown_

"Huff…Huff…Huff…" He panted, letting his hands rest on his knees before using his right hand to wipe away the swears on his forehead, touching his pink hair slightly. He ran into the station pushing anyone who's blocking his way, grabbing the nearest train officer by collar, "Where is Lucy?" His voice harsh and cold.

"W-who?" The pale guy asked, how unlucky he was today! First, he got scolded by his boss for accidently spilling tea on a little girl and now…! He feels like he's looking at a very angry dragon!

"Lucy!" The pink haired teen shouted, people around looked at the scene but no one dares to go and stop the teen, who would when that teen patience was running low.

"I-I'm n-not s-sure w-who y-you're t-talking a-a-about. S-si-sir…"

"I'm asking you… where is she?" Really, he's wasting his time with this pathetic guy.

"I-H-How d-does s-she l-look l-like?" The hand on his collar was slightly loose, making the officer sigh in relief, the pink haired teen tried to recall in his mind, how does Lucy looks like now?

Is her blonde hair still shine like gold, is it still tied up the usual way?

Is her brown eyes still filled with happiness?

The teen looked like he's calming down, "She has…blonde hair, brown eyes and… huge-" He cut himself off, there is no way he's telling anyone how he thinks about Lucy's…

The pale man silently wondered why had the teen stopped but was going to question it, after all, he doesn't want to get any more trouble with this – probably – dangerous teen. Trying to remember any one with that can't-really-say-it's-a-description-it-only-had-eight-word! Short description- it's not going to be his fault if he told him the wrong place! Imagine all the people passing by him every day! "S=she took the train on platform C!"

The next thing he knew was that he was left on the floor, really considering whether he should quit the job or not!

X.x.X

He ran as fast as he could to the platform he knew well of, at the same time, trying to spot for any blonde hair. Finally after what seems like forever (which is only five minutes), she saw his blonde best friend on the train; her head was leaning on the window, her chocolate brown eyes were dull and the sight of her looking that way scares him – her eyes used to be full of happiness and it jolly well stay that way! Catching his breath, he shouted, "Lucy!" before running full speeds towards her.

X.x.X

Her eyes seems to widen (he couldn't tell the different since he was still far away) and she opened the window, their eyes met, "Na-Natsu?" She spoke… ah… how he missed her voice, the way she says his name.

Standing in front of her, he felt weird.

How long since he stood close to her? He observe her mouth open and close, 'weirdo' his lips twitched up slightly, forming a smirk but frowned when he remembered why he was looking for her. His hand went into his pocket at that thought; he touched something like a paper that was crumbled.

**-Flashback-**

He was strolling through the familiar road to Lucy's apartment; he had a gut feeling and wanted to check on Lucy earlier than planned.

Spotting her house immediately, he began running instead of going to the door, he went to the window. He went through it, finding the place empty – and it's not like the normal emptiness. The room just feel… empty (I don't get to it too?)

For a second, he was scared – that something happened and he wasn't there to help her! Glancing around for anything that would tell him what was going on, but there was nothing but emptiness till he noticed a paper or what seems like it on the table, walking closer to it, he realize it was a photo of Team Natsu in of fairy Tail.

Picking it up, he turned over and his eyes widen. It said the word he never she would say.

_Goodbye_

His hand shakily dropped the photo, he didn't want to believe it but the handwriting was undoubtly hers.

He stared at the photo – they were all smiling…she was smiling… so why? – taking it into hand, he crumbled it and shoved it into his pocket carelessly. He would find her and she'll tell him that this was a joke, a lie and with that, he ran out of the house, never had he ran so fast before.

**-End of flashback-**

He gulped down the lump on his throat and took out the photo. "What is this?" he asked showing her that crumbled photo, he saw her eyes widen even more and flinched, meaning that she know what it was.

"What about it? Did you not understand what it means?" The tone of her voice was cold and it make him shivers, not only that… the way she was telling him means… (Natsu seems to be too smart…)

"Why? Why do you want to leave?" When she didn't answer, he thought it was just maybe a joke or maybe an April fool!

"Why can't I leave?" She said, her eyes seem distanced… like they are somewhere far away from him. Was she serious?!"

"C-cause we're a family and family doesn't leave each other…" _'forever' _he silently added, "So you can't leave." He hoped she would listen and give up this whole stupid, idiotic, ridiculous idea of leaving.

She chuckled, almost giving him hope till she said, "Well too bad… I'm leaving whether… we're a family or not."

He felt anger rising in him, "But why?!" He shouted so loudly that the people around looked at the two, thought quickly moved on, seeing how angry the pink haired teen was.

Her eyes narrowed, "Why?!" She shouted back, matching his own. "Because I need to move on!" _'Just like you have…' _"You know what, Natsu?" He watched her lips shaking. "I was left all by myself! Everyone, YOU abandoned me! And you still dare to say we're a family?!" he couldn't find any words to retort, her words echoed in his mind, they had left her alone and was thinking she was okay with it! Images of Lucy sitting by the bar _alone_, going to the mission board… what kind of best friend is he?! What kind of family they are?! They're just like her father who ignored her! And shouldn't he of all people understand the feelings of being abandoned?!

The sound of the train wheels turning caught his attention, his head shoot up, "Lucy!" He yelled, the train was slowly going away but blonde teen just stared at him blankly – like she too, was shocked. "Don't…Leave me…!" He said, he was more than willing to kneel down and beg her to stay, or do anything just for her to stay and forgive him. Her eyes widen before they turned sad.

The train's steam screamed (I'm not sure how to say this…) loudly, her mouth moving, lips saying words that's left unheard by others but he heard them, loud and clear.

The train – she was leaving. "Lucy!" He shouted again, chasing after the train. He falls into his knees when he reached the end of the platform, the train disappearing from his view. Her words resounded in his head, _"it's too late…because I already… hate you…"_

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><p><strong>Such a bad cliffhanger (good thing I didn't write it first and left you all to wait for long) and it was shorter than what I thought…! But I enjoyed writing the first part about the unlucky train officer. Sorry it isn't very good… feel free to tell me when I should improve! I might have made a lot of mistake because its 2.30AM and I'm very tired… not sure when I would update… I haven't been able to think of a nice chapter 3.. Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Review please thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tsuki: Hi! It's been a looooooooong time since I had updated and I'm really sorry! Blame my laziness haha. Anyway, after 2 months, chapter 3 is finally here! And I like to thanks those who… well still read this, I was wondering if how many people would still read this… **

**And oh my God, I realized I never personally thank someone who corrected my mistakes of chapter 1. Err, you called Guest … Thanks so much! And I really want to thank all the people had read the previous chapter, favorite/ alert the story and had leave a review, really thank you!**

**For this chapter I really wanted to try something new, so I decided to write in Lucy P.O.V! So tell me what you think yeah…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.**

**Chapter 3: Back…?**

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><p>I swallowed the lump in my throat, it has been a long time since I stood in front of this large wooden doors, five years… time sure had flew… it's a wonder how I could even bear to leave the best guild in the whole of Fiore… And I never thought I would come back… I sighed, I really need to do this… for both of them… if only I could just go in and pass it to Levy then leave.<p>

…Like that can happen… I wonder how would they react when they sees me? Do they hate me? Does _he _hate me? Hell, do they even remember me? Then again, it would be great if they had forgotten me… forgotten that Lucky Lucy of Heartfillia had ever joined Fairy Tail seven years ago, that she had been part of the strongest team ever. Damn… the thought itself is bitter… I wish that they had not forgotten me…

I let out another sigh, I told Ryu I would be really soon… Ryu… I want to see him… he would give me courage to do this. And I left him with Loki… Damn, I hope the idiot lion doesn't teach him anything weird. I will personally skin him and hang his head as a decoration. I better get this done and go find them. I pushed the door open and as soon as I stepped inside, a chair hit me and I fell.

Which idiotic, dumbass threw it?! "Ara, ara… are you okay?" I blinked that familiar voice… I looked towards where the voice came from and tears almost form in my eyes, as I saw the long white hair and the pair of beautiful blue eyes looking at me. It… It's _really _Mira – san… I'm _really _back… "Is something wrong?" Guess she must have thought that I'm injured badly since I hadn't said a thing. From the corner of my eye I can see the fight going on, they never change do they? I felt a presence nearing me and a gash that followed afterward. "Lu…Lucy…" I bet tears are in my eyes now, heck my vision is getting watery… _she hasn't forgotten about me…_

And by some shitty miracle, everything quiet down, I could feel many eyes on me. How the heck did they hear her whisper my name through the entire ruckus? Finding my voice, I opened my mouth… shit, what can I say? I'm back? No way in hell… I doubt they even want me back… "I…" Damn, damn, damn… I should have thought that something like this would happen…

"LUCY!" The whole guild shouted, Mira – san being the closest hugged me, soon the rest joined. Did they know they are squashing me?

"Oh my God, Lucy!"

"Geez, where have you been?"

"Lucy, you're back!"

"Lucy!"

Many people are shouting and after what felt like hours, which was probably only a few minutes, they released me.

"Everyone!" Mira – san shouted, "We need to celebrate!"

…

…

…

WHAT?! Everyone was yelling in agreement.

"Wait!" I shouted, but nobody seems to hear me, God how the hell can they hear Mira – san whisper and not my shout? "Mira – san!" But she already went into the kitchen and everyone else was doing something, like putting the chairs and tables back in place. Shit, I'm not here to join back… okay maybe I want to… BUT! I promised Ryu that I'll be back. I can't stay here… I glanced around and took notice that certain people are not here. _They _are not here… I sighed in relief, they might not forgive me… and a certain short white hair is not here either huh… Guess they went on a mission…

… Why does my heart still ached at the thought…? Even after five years… I still feel jealous of _the girl…. _Even though I knew this is going to happen… but, I… I didn't want them to replace me… I… damn, I bit my lower lip, I'm so _selfish…_

Wait… no one had called me Lu – chan… not that I think she still will even after so long but, I can still hope right? I looked around, Levy… she's not here either… I sighed; guess I got to stay for a while no matter what… Hopefully Ryu wouldn't mind… I stood up and head for the bar stool I usually sits before I left. I ran my fingers on it, I missed this… Never in the five years had I stop thinking about them or stop wondering what could have happen if I had never left… even after Ryu came into my life… "It's good to see you back, Lucy."

I turned to the voice, "Master…" I looked at the short old man, geez… he never change does he? I smiled softly. "Umm… I…" how should I explain it to him? Speaking of it… I wonder what had _he _told them?

"Let's leave everything aside first." Master smiled, I wonder if he knew… "Welcome back Lucy!" He grinned at me. Everyone start to turn their attention to me, heck, even Mira – san had popped out of the kitchen, are they for serious?

I blinked at the silence; they… are waiting for me to reply? Can I… really say _that?_ I looked down at my feet and tears had involuntarily flow down from my eyes. "I…" I gulped, "I'm back…" I whispered as soft as I could, the uncomfortable silence continues. Maybe… I shouldn't ha –

"WELCOME BACK LUCY!" Everyone yelled loudly. My head shoot up, my eyes looking at all of them, they had gentle smiles and smirk on their faces… God… my hand flew to my mouth, I can't believe this… they… are really welcoming me back… this… how the heck did I ever thought I should leave all this people?

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><p><strong>Tsuki: Muhahaha, not really a cliffy and not very good, but I feel happy writing this? I mean… its awesome that Lucy is finally back after five years! And it's really fun to write in p.o.v <strong>

**Are you all wondering who is Ryu? And what is the thing Lucy wanted to give Levy? Muhahaha I'm not telling! **

**Next chapter I'm gonna try and write Natsu p.o.v! I can't wait…! I really want to write Natsu and Lucy doing all kinds of romantic stuff! **

**Review please! Tell me what you think about this! Thanks in advance!**

**See you in the next chapter!**


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